Story: The Church Accountant 18+ (Season 1 - Episode 4)

After Aisha left, I called the Receptionist that I

am not attending to anyone. And I started

ruminating over my life…..what have I just

done? Why did I have to do such even in the

office? Why didn’t I take her home to just do it?

As I was thinking about it an SMS entered my

phone which reads: “meet me at the front of

Campari fast – food joint at Iwo Road in the next

1 hour – Dcns. Emeka”

I tidied up my office, sprayed the air freshener

and switched off the Air Conditioner, I called the

Secretary that I have an urgent appointment at

Iwo Rd and it will take me 2-3 hours.

When I got there, I saw her already waiting for

me inside the fast – food joint and I sat beside

her.

Me: Ma, it is quite scary for me to come and

meet you here.

Dcns. Emeka: shhhh…. I wanted to talk with

you (she placed her hands on my laps trying to

rub it)

Me: (tried shifting away from her) ok ma I’m all

ears

Dcns. Emeka: you have been avoiding me since

when you resumed.

Me: No….. I am not running away from you ma.

You know the nature of our work in the church

office, not having time for other engagements.

Dcns. Emeka: I just want to know how you are

faring. Take this envelope (she passed an

envelope to me). Use it to do whatever you

want to do.

Me: thank you ma.

Then I realized that it was about 50,000 Naira

in the envelope

Dcns. Emeka: You know the project we are

about to execute in the church and I want you

to work towards it that I should be the one

awarded the contract to. I promise that as soon

as it has been awarded, I will settle you in cash

and in other way round

Me: how will I help you ma?

Dcns. Emeka: the church board meeting will

come up on Sunday and you and I will be there;

and as you know, I can’t recommend myself. All

the Board members have united themselves

against me and their main instigator is Elder

Barcanista. I want you to help me. Accountant

use every possible means to convince Head

Pastor.

Me: I am not assuring you but I will try.

Dcns. Emeka: Ok. I will be expecting a reply

from you

Wetin I don enter now God!!!!

Later in the day, I called Elder Barcanista

Me: Hello Elder

Elder Barcanista: Hello my son.

Me: e ku ojo meta sir.

Elder Barcanista: hope there are no problems

Me: No sir. I want to know if the contractor for

the job of constructing the school at Asejire

along Ibadan – Ife Expressway has been

selected.

Elder Barcanista: Hmm…. No

Me: but please sir, what about Dcns. Emeka?

Elder Barcanista: Lai-lai

Me: but why sir?

Elder: (breathes deeply) She is an ingrate. I

worked a job for her some years back but after

she finished the job she decided to start

fighting with me that I am demanding too

much.

Me: Daddy, I felt your pain sir. But can I make a

proposition?

Elder: go ahead.

Me: Let’s scare her by telling her that she is not

qualified. But I want us to give her the job. I will

talk to her to “pay her dues”

Elder: Accountant, kini Dcns. fun e? (what did

the Dcns. gave you?)

Me: nothing sir. I just felt that instead of us

taking our food outside, let us cook and eat our

food at home. I will encourage her to employ

most of the youths in the church that are still

looking for job so that as she benefits as a

member of the Church Board, the youths in the

church also should benefit from her.

Elder: Accountant, you spoke well. Let me call

the Head Pastor so that I will convey the

suggestion to the Head Pastor.

Me: Thank you sir.

Call ended.

Time flew to Sunday and after the service, the

meeting commenced, but Dcns. Emeka was

excused.

Head Pastor: I welcome you all to this meeting.

As we all know, we are about building our

model school at Asejire. We have received

various proposals from different people for the

project. Elder Barcanista suggested to me that

we should give Dcns. Emeka the job but I feel

otherwise.

So I want suggestions from other members of

the Board.

Elder Garba: Why can’t we give it to Engineer

David? Why is it that the project should go to

Dcns. Emeka?

Dcns. Agwu: Engineer David is just less than 6

months in this church. You know our policy that

we can’t give a job of such enormity to a

church member that has not spent up to one

year.

Deacon Oladunjoye: She is right Elder Garba.

Engineer David is just a new member and

according to records, he just joined a service

unit less than 2 months ago.

Elder Garba: Lai-lai. I won’t agree that we

should use Dcns. Emeka.

I sat there watching how the drama unfolds to

a serious argument within the church board

members. After the Head Pastor calmed

everyone down, I stood up to talk

Me: Please I want you to be considerate. We all

know Dcns. Emeka. She is a member of this

church for the past 8years. I heard that even

the last assignment she did for the church, she

refunded the balance in the project money.

All except Me: WHAT

Me: When I reconciled all the accounts related

to the project, I discovered that she actually

refunded 8.7 million naira

Elder Garba: Allah YA KIYAYE!!!

Me: But the former accountant only declared

5million naira

EVERYONE INCLUDING PASTOR: CHIZOZZZZ!!!!!

Me: so for anyone who did such project with

open transparency and the structure still lasted

time and again, is it not that person we are

going to give the job to do again?

Deacon Oladunjoye: definitely she is the one we

are going to give the job.

After much deliberations and review on the

project sum, we called her to the meeting

room:

Head Pastor: Dcns. Emeka, we have decided

not to give you this job……………BUT on the

other hand we had a rethink and even though

you are a member of the church board, we

have decided to award the project to you. The

letter of award of contract will be given to you

before Tuesday next week

Dcns. Emeka: (happy) Thank you Pastor and

thank you the Church Board (she knelt down

for everybody) and I promise you I will never fail

but I will deliver......

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